Doubt: I believe it’s something we all do. In fact, I think it’s an important piece of each individuals walk with God. Especially for those who grew up in church. Doubt is what drives us to seek Truth and come to a genuine faith that is our own and not out parent’s or our mentor’s.
I also think doubt is uncomfortable. It feels wrong. Like I’m less of a Christian because thoughts of doubt arise. This however is a lie. Doubt is a normal part of a relationship with God. And, if dealt with correctly, can even be considered healthy.
This past week, I’ve been noticing some random doubtful thoughts rising in my mind. Doubts about who God says He is and doubts about the truth of the Bible. With those thoughts also come the lies about myself I mentioned above. Rather than letting those lies take root in my heart though, I decided to start fighting right away. I asked my team to pray over me and was honest with them.
This led to a beautiful conversation among my team. I learned I wasn’t alone in my doubts and it wasn’t something I needed to be ashamed of. We got to talk about different questions we had, share our wisdom and ways that we’ve dealt with doubts in the past. There was one thing in particular that was said that I’ve been meditating on since the conversation happened. My squad leader told me that the doubt is okay, what matters now is what I do with it.
This conversation with my team happened while the rest of our squad was downstairs worshipping. When we finished our conversation, we joined in on whatever song was being sung at the time. I laid on a couch and let the truth of the words we were singing wash over me. I began to think about what I will do with my doubt. That’s when Paul (who was leading worship) led us to singing the song “Jesus Loves Me”
You know, that song we would sing as little kids in church. Or the song we still sing with the little kids in church. The one that says Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong.” As we sang this, the biggest smile made its way to my face. Not just because I’m a kid at heart and love children’s songs, but because the simple Truth in that song is huge!
That is when I figured out what I’ll do with my doubt. I’m gonna go back to the basics. Back to the truth I learned as a child. The truth that does not change. I’m gonna remind myself that Jesus loves me. I’m gonna remind myself that the Bible is what tells me that and that I KNOW the Bible is trustworthy. I’m gonna go back to “This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine.” I’m gonna go back to “Read your Bible, pray every day and you’ll grow grow grow.” I’m gonna go back to all my favorite Sunday School songs that are saturated with simple Truth.
I’m also going to remind myself that my faith cannot be shaken because I have a firm foundation. (2 Tim 2:19 Nevertheless, the firm foundation of God stands, having this seal, “The Lord knows those who are His.”) That foundation is made up of the simple truths proclaimed in the songs I grew up singing. My prayer now for myself is that I will always remember and rejoice in the simple Gospel. That not a da will go by that I’m not enamored by the fact that Jesus loves me and died for my sins so that I can be in relationship with Him.
As I wrestle through my doubts, I’m gonna hold on to God’s love for me and I’m confident that I’ll come through with an even stronger and deeper faith than I had before.
If you have doubts, I want you to know that I’m praying for you. I’m praying that you also will remember and rejoice in the simple gospel. I pray that even through the doubts, you will trust that God loves you and isn’t troubled by our questions. I pray that you will have courage to talk to someone you trust about it and that you will be able to wrestle well and come out of it with a deeper and stronger faith.
I also want to remind you that you’re not alone. Please feel free to email me if you have a question or if you want me to pray for you in a more specific way.
Jesus loves you and died for you. Hold on to that truth.
Blessings,
Kaci
