At the beginning of this race one of my teammates was teasing me (like.. 3 days into being in Costa Rica) I said something that she thought was silly and laughed about it for a while. I got embarrassed and honestly kinda butt hurt. I told her that it isn’t kind to tease people and I think of it as hateful. We laugh at others and then tell them we love them… It just doesn’t make sense to me.
She told me she would try not to tease me any more but as we got closer as friends the teasing continued (she still brings up the same thing from day 3 in Costa Rica and we both laugh about the whole thing now). Eventually, my perspective of her teasing changed.
Months into the race and months into my friendship with this girl, we are placed in different ministries on the race for the first time. Honestly, I miss her teasing me. I came to realize that I don’t mind her teasing me because I trust that she loves me and I trust that she isn’t defining me by the things she is teasing me for. We both will laugh together now instead of me getting embarrassed.
I love my friendship with her, and God even used her teasing as a way to teach me something about my relationship with him. At the beginning of the race, I mis-interpreted her teasing as hateful… God then revealed to me how it’s easy for us to mis-interpret God’s actions as well.
I did this recently…. I mis-interpreted God’s actions… Here’s how:
When I said yes to coming on the World Race a second time, I was saying yes to a specific route at first. It was a route that would put me in Africa for 5 months and then I would get to go to 4 out of the 5 countries that I missed out on when my first race was cut short.
Looking back, I was never really that excited about doing the World Race a second time, but I was excited about the countries I would be able to visit. 8 months into the race I started to feel a little burnt-out…
While pondering my desire to be done with the Race, I thought about the fact that my route has looked nothing like what I said yes to. I spent 6 months in Central America (a region that wasn’t even on the original route). I haven’t been to Africa at all, and I haven’t been to any of the countries that I missed out on in round 1.
The image that came to my mind when thinking about how God brought me to this place is that of a parent and their toddler. You know… when you’re trying to get a toddler to eat their veggies. You dangle something you know they want in front of them and when they open their mouth to take it you sneak the veggies in their mouth instead. I’m not proud of the thought that followed this image… but I want to be honest.
I thought of the word “manipulative” and began to wrestle with this idea that God manipulated me into saying yes to a route I would not have said yes to on my own. I knew that labeling God as manipulative wasn’t right. Being manipulative isn’t a good thing… and God IS GOOD. Yet, I felt manipulated.. So, I prayed. I was honest with God about how I was feeling and I asked Him to show me the truth.
That same morning He spoke to me through His word during Bible Study with my team. Two verses in particular stood out to me.
“And because of His words many more became believers” John 4:41
“The man took Jesus at His word and departed” John 4:50
The second one really spoke to me. It’s about a man who’s son was dying. He wanted Jesus to heal his son so he asked him for just that. Jesus told him “Go. your son will live.” That’s when the man believed Jesus’ words and left. He didn’t see his son be healed until after he believed and went home in faith.
God showed me through these verses that I wasn’t taking God’s Word seriously. His word tells me that God is love and that God is good. I wasn’t trusting this and it led me to mis-interpreting His actions.
I realized God’s word is powerful and God’s word is truth. I should interpret God’s actions through the lens of this truth knowing that God is love… and if God is love then he has me on this route for a good reason. I can trust that He loved me enough to give me what I needed and not necessarily what I wanted.
He never manipulated me. Instead, He invited me to trust Him and He invited me to say yes to going on the Race a second time. I lost sight of that trust for a moment. God is faithful and brought me back and showed me He is trustworthy.
Blessings,
Kaci
