I will say it again; Rejoice! Rejoice despite your circumstance. Rejoice despite the bad hair day. Rejoice despite a cold shower. Rejoice despite small meal portions. Rejoice despite sleeping on a cold hard ground. Rejoice despite missing home. Rejoice despite _________.
This has been something I’ve struggled with in my life. I have not been the person who rejoices despite.. I’ve been the person who rejoices when I’m comfortable. The person who rejoices when things fall into place the way I want them to. The person who rejoices when I don’t have to work very hard to find something to rejoice over, but rejoicing despite the circumstance is something I really have to strive for.
I tend to give more weight to the “negative” in my life and have allowed circumstances that didn’t live up to my standard to drive me into depression. No more. I’m done with that. God has removed the spirit of depression from my life and I will never walk back into that darkness again. I am living in the light.
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12
While in Jacó, my squad leader Cami was praying over me. She said she was getting an image of a hand bouncing a ball. Up and down, up and down. She thought that maybe God was asking me to hand over my dreams to Him, but that didn’t sit right with me. I don’t believe God handles our dreams like a bouncy ball. After a few days of asking the Lord what the image actually meant, it finally hit me during a night of worship.
The hand was mine.
The ball was depression.
I had dealt with depression in the past. I had prayed over it and thought that I had found freedom, but it would still come back every now and again. God revealed to me that it was because I was expecting it to come back. I was treating my depression like a bouncy ball. Every time I prayed for it to leave, I bounced the ball down and then waited for it to come back into my hand.
That night at worship, I told Cami about what the image actually meant and with her watching me I took that bouncy ball of depression and chucked it as far as I can. I’m not bouncing it anymore. I’m not waiting for it to come back. That bouncy ball was thrown down the street and it fell into the gutter where it belongs.
So, depression is gone, but sometimes it’s still hard to rejoice despite. Sometimes I still want to complain that my sleeping pad is losing air overnight, or I want to complain about the wind. I still want to complain. but God is in the process of renewing my mind and transforming my thoughts. He’s doing this one step at a time.
The other morning, I woke up with my sleeping pad completely flat. I was annoyed and frustrated. After a moment of dwelling on the circumstance, I pulled out my phone to read my devotional. I read about rejoicing in the Lord always. I read about how Paul rejoiced even when he was in prison (sleeping on the floor without a sleeping pad at all…)
I got out of my sleeping pad and was hit in a new way by the beauty of the location that I’m currently calling home. Yeah, maybe I could be at home in my bed, but then I wouldn’t get to wake up with this view every morning.
It is now my prayer every morning that God reveal Himself to me. That my thoughts will be transformed by His goodness. That I will see ALL the reasons to rejoice rather than the few reasons to complain and be frustrated. It’s a process and I need to remember not to beat myself up if some days are harder than others, but I am making progress and God is so faithful and so patient with me.
Sometimes rejoicing looks like thanking God for things even when my heart is not in a place of thankfulness. Sometimes it looks like thanking God for the hard things. Sometimes it looks like dancing with joy. Sometimes it looks like inviting my team into my struggling, or inviting them into my celebration. Sometimes it looks like landing on my knees in prayer during worship. Whatever it looks like, I know that God is transforming my mind and my thoughts are becoming His. I am becoming a person that naturally rejoices despite.
Blessings,
Kaci
