I’m currently sitting in a cute little coffee shop in Brazil, waiting to go back to the airport to catch a flight to go to Morocco and then from there catch a flight to Togo. My next ministry location will be in Lomé, Togo and I cannot even begin to explain to you how excited I am to be headed to Africa.
So, I have decided to take a technology fast for this next month and I’m here to tell you why. My month in Argentina was a struggle. Yes, there were struggles month one and two as well, but I was mostly in good spirits. This month was different. I hit a wall and I got to this point where I didn’t want to be present. I didn’t want to go to ministry. I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. I didn’t want to go to team time. I had very little motivation for anything and I was struggling.
I really wanted to go home, and then God reminded me that if I went home I wouldn’t be going to Africa or any of the countries after Africa. That’s when I realized that I just wanted to go home for a week and then come back to the field. In that, I also realized that I was not relying on God to help me get past the burnout I was experiencing. I was no longer filling my bucket with Him, I was filling by talking to my parents.
It’s funny because, last month when I was homesick and talking to my mom as often as I could, she asked me if I was talking to them too much. Of course, I got defensive and told her no. Then by the end of this month, I realized that yes, I most definitely was. Remember that blog where I wrote about the walking stick? If you didn’t read it here’s a recap: I found a walking stick on a hike, it helped a lot and then I thought I didn’t need it anymore, threw it down and took two steps and realized I still needed it. I compared it to walking with the Lord and getting to a point where we act like we don’t need Him. Then I fell right into that.
I will not lie, this month my time with the Lord was almost non-existent. Month 1 and 2 I was connecting with the Lord, leaning on Him for all things, and last month I stopped doing that. My schedule was busier than I was used to and I just did not have motivation to fit quiet times with the Lord into my schedule. I tried to do things by my own strength this month and I failed. Luckily, I know that God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). I believe that I’m in a good spot. I’ve come to the end of my own strength where I can now really allow God to be God in my life. This is why I’ve chosen to disconnect from WiFi for the month, to allow myself to really dive deeper into my relationship with the Lord and my dependency on Him. I will still be writing blogs and posting those throughout the month, but that is the only thing I will use WiFi for. I’m looking forward to seeing how God grows me this next month.
I want to end with saying that this month in Argentina was not all bad, and in fact this has been my hardest goodbye. This month I had a lot of opportunities to connect with all the children living on base. There were 8 kids living on the base while we were there, the oldest two being 6 and 7 and the other 5 all under 4. I adore the younger ages and the snuggles I got from all the babies gave me so much joy. I also feel like I connected with all the moms (and other awesome ladies on the base who weren’t moms, but were tia to all the kiddos). Being with English speakers also helped me develop deeper relationships with the people on base. So yes, there was good times this month and it was hard to say goodbye to the people (especially little kids) from Argentina. So it wasn’t a bad month, I just wasn’t connecting with the Lord so my soul was not healthy.
I would greatly appreciate all prayers as I step into a new continent, a new country and a new ministry. I would also appreciate prayers as I allow the Lord to show me what it really looks like to lean on Him and stay spiritually and emotionally healthy.
Love you all, and thank you for reading!
~Kaci
P.S. I’M FULLY FUNDED!!! Thanks God, and a huge thank you to everyone who has donated! This is such a huge blessing!
Love you baby! Praying for strength & safety in Africa
You are such a brave girl! But back in my day, there wasn’t any wifi so
I suppose people had to write letters and really didn’t know how somebody
was at the moment unless they called on the phone but even that was iffy in foreign countries. So we’re spoiled, but God doesn’t need wifi, phones, or
other tech devices, so aren’t we glad!! And we have a nice long letter to us too. Love you and waiting for your next blog!
Hey, its been a month of holiday celebrations that we are all used to spending together. Don’t beat yourself up too much for connecting with your family. And if you don’t connect, that guy behind that tree that looks kinda like your dad, well….I’m excited that you are going into the new year and into Africa with a renewed sense of motivation, dedication and focus. I know you will succeed and will be filled with new blessings on your journey. Sending love and hugs to you honey! I’m so proud of you!
You are amazing! And thank you for your honesty, and that is what God wants from us as well. Sometimes ya just have to cut the cord a little bit to get some perspective. How will ya learn to swim if ya always have a life preserve? God is your life preserve… always and forever. It’s just hard to lean solely on Him when we have a more visible one so close (family via wifi). I commend you Kaci. You are a brave and courageous young lady and I admire you! Stay the course… you’ll never get the full benefit and neither will the people you’re ministering to if you don’t. We pray for you often. We have our bracelets on as a reminder of where you are. Justin is especially protective of his.
Please stay safe and lean on God for protection and wisdom! We love you dearly my PEA
Love… auntie christy
Thank you for being vulnerable about not spending time with God and then telling us the result of not doing that and then the return. I love how real and vulnerable we are! We all struggle to be sure we get time with God. It’s so easy to depend on ourselves or others to lead the way instead of leaning on God for that. We get in the yoke with God