Make Me Like Jesus

I want to be like Jesus. I sing about it, I pray about it, but sometimes that’s all I do. My desire stops at singing and praying. Actually, sometimes it even stops at singing. Last year, in November I read a book called Sonship. After reading that, John became my favorite book of the Bible and my desire for intimacy with the Father became greater. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend it! 

It changed my relationship with the Lord in really good ways. I was growing in intimacy, learning to recognize my Father’s voice and trusting that I hear from Him. My quiet times with God were the best and most consistent they had ever been. I discovered through the book  and through the Gospel of John the true intimacy Jesus and the Father had and I was taking steps to have that same intimacy between myself and the Father. 

“Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can only do what he sees his Father doing because whatever the Father does the Son also does” John 5:19

That was not the case when I got pulled off the field a year ago. Sure, I had more space for it while at home, and yet I was lacking. I’ve been craving that intimacy again. In fact, it’s part of the reason why I wanted to be back on the field. I believed God was not done teaching me what He had started to about intimacy and I wanted to be back in that space of learning again. The thing is, the World Race is NOT the answer. You will only get out of the race what you put into it. 

On my last race, I was choosing to download and read books that would challenge me to grow. I was listening to worship music only and I was prioritizing quiet times with the Lord and reading scripture. This year, it has looked a bit different for me. 

I confess that I have not been prioritizing intimacy. I have been choosing to read books that aren’t necessarily bad, but also aren’t challenging me in any way. I haven’t really been choosing worship outside of squad worship times. In Jacó, one of our mentors encouraged me to get up early and read my Bible. I didn’t do it once. Every morning I would sleep until I had to get up, and I would tell myself I would read scripture later in the day. That also didn’t happen too often. 

The desire to be like Jesus and have true intimacy with the Father hasn’t gone away, I just haven’t been putting any effort into it like I was before. I expected everything would be the same as my last Race simply because I was on the Race again. I knew it wasn’t the same when I was in Jacó and that I wasn’t really growing. 

So I went through the book of John. While reading, I was trying to figure out how Jesus had such an intimate relationship. What did He do that was different than myself. I realized it during a conversation with my squad leader, Cami. She was talking to my team about secret places and her secret place with God. That’s when it hit me, Jesus’ intimacy came from the many times that He would withdraw from his disciples to be with his Father. 

“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed” -Luke 5:16

But wait, how do I find “lonely” places when I’m living in community and there is almost always people around me?? What does it look like to build intimacy with the Father while on the World Race? Headphones. No joke. My team has this new norm that if we have headphones in our ears, with our Bible or journal open we won’t interrupt, because we all know how important quiet times are. 

Last year, during all my quiet times, I would put my headphones in to block out the noise that was around me. Then, if it’s not possible to truly be alone, I can at least pretend like I am. Putting in headphones helps me to not get distracted by the people around me and to really give the Father my full attention. 

Sometimes it is possible to be alone. Sometimes it’s sitting at your own table in the coffee shop down the street.. Sometimes it’s staying home while others decide to go to the mall. Sometimes it’s sitting in the window upstairs while everyone else is downstairs. One thing I know for sure, it doesn’t have to look the same, and I definitely don’t need to be on the race to find it. 

This month, I am challenging myself to prioritize withdrawing from people to be with my Father. I am challenging myself to not stop at singing and praying. I am challenging myself to take steps to allow Jesus to change my heart and show me His will. I am challenging myself to make intimacy with the Father my first priority. I am challenging myself to do only what I see the Father doing. 

I am also inviting you into this challenge with me. Like I said before, you don’t have to be on the World Race to learn about intimacy, or to seek it yourself. The World Race isn’t some secret formula that pushes people into intimacy. However, leadership does value it and does usher us into it, the reality is that it’s up to us as individuals to seek it for ourselves. So, will you join me in this challenge to draw closer to God? 

Blessings,

Kaci