I Won’t Be Home For Christmas

I’ve been away from home for plenty of holidays. I’ve spent Easter at a random teachers house who I had never met (she was the cooperating teacher of one of my friends during her student teaching). I’ve spent Thanksgiving with extended family instead of my immediate family. I’ve spent a Fourth of July in Kenya around a bonfire in a sweatshirt eating s’mores (that was a little strange considering I’m used to swimming and sweating in the heat… also fireworks). 

But I’ve never been away from home for Christmas, until this year. I miss home and I wish I could teleport to California just for the day, actually I’d like to teleport for the night of Christmas Eve up until the end of Christmas Day. I’ve been thinking about all the Christmas traditions my family has and all I can say is that I’m thankful for WiFi and for international data. I know that I will be able to FaceTime my family on Christmas and for that I’m very thankful. 

This season of being away from home and remembering which traditions I really miss have made me ponder what I really value. I value relationships. I love decorating for Christmas and putting up lights and the tree, but it’s the most fun when I get to do it with others (like when I help my dad put the lights at the highest part of the house because he doesn’t want to climb up the ladder). I love decorating Christmas cookies because I get to hang out with everyone and it usually ends in me and my aunt making a huge mess with the flour because we are the “children” of the family. I love listening to my Great Grandma read us the Christmas story, and I love watching people’s reactions to the presents they open. I love playing games after all the presents have been opened and I love talking to everyone around the dinner table. I love sleepovers on Christmas Eve staying up way too late because we’re too excited to sleep. 

I know that Christmas is a time to remember Jesus’ birth. I know that we celebrate because God is good, and I know that it doesn’t matter where in the world I am for Christmas I can still be joyful because God loved us enough to not abandon the world in the desperate state it was in, but to send His only Son to die for our sins and reconcile us to the Father. I know that Christmas is Christmas no matter what. But I still miss my family. 

The other thing I’ve been thinking about is the fact that when I get home from the race, it’ll be only a few months away from Christmas, and everyone knows that the few months before Christmas fly by. I’m gone for 11 months so I’ll be coming back pretty much right around the same time that I left. It kind of feels like this year is just separated from real life. It feels like it’s outside of time and I’m not really missing that much. At the same time, I know that life back home is not just going to stop. Things will have changed between now and when I get back. I have friends getting married, other friends having babies, and who knows what else I’ll miss. I’m sure things will be different by the time I get home, and honestly it only seems weird that I’m missing Christmas when I connect with home. 

Here it does not feel like Christmas because there are not nearly as many decorations. It’s all very different than home and it’s summer (which isn’t that big a difference from December in SoCal…) So, while is doesn’t feel like Christmas and I barely think about how I’m missing a whole year, I don’t think it’ll really hit me until I get home. Sometimes it hits me a little bit and I get kind of emotional, but for now I’m following where the Lord is leading me and I’m trusting that He’ll help me readjust when I step back into the States 8 months from now. 

I know that being away from home is the sacrifice that I’ve made to be obedient to the call God has placed on my life. It has not been easy, but God has been so kind through it. He has given me moments that make me feel at home and deeply loved (like decorating a tree with my squad,being given Christmas cookies at a church service, singing Christmas songs for worship and being given the opportunity to babysit). This year for Christmas, and I want to ask you to give everyone in your family a giant hug for me. Tell them why you love them, spend time actually being present with your family this Christmas and don’t miss a moment because you never know when the Lord might call you to be away from your family. I pray that the love of the Father will fill you up so much that you overflow with love to the people all around you and that you remember how precious this season is when we remember that day the Earth received her King. Merry Christmas!! 

Blessings 

~Kaci