It’s Okay to Struggle

I used to be afraid to tell my testimony. I didn’t have some huge 180 turn in my life where I went from not knowing God at all to meeting him and everything being great. I heard people telling their stories all around me and it was always about how they didn’t know God and so they were walking in sin, but then they met Him and their life turned around and they started walking on a path of righteousness. 

My story is one of mistakes I made even while I knew Christ. I thought this made my story not worth telling. After all, I didn’t have a powerful 180 to share therefore it wouldn’t have any power in someone’s life if I did tell it. 

What a lie!!! Grace is grace no matter what. The grace I received (and still receive everyday) was no less meaningful or powerful than the person who received grace when they met God for the first time. Realizing this truth made me wonder why we don’t talk more about our current struggles. We act like once we know God everything is perfect and then we never slip up again. That is not what scripture tells us though. 

Proverbs 24:16 “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again” 

Did you catch that? The RIGHTEOUS person falls…. God knows that we will not get it perfect. He knows that we will still mess up and make mistakes. He knows that we will struggle again. That isn’t the end of that verse though. The end of the verse is that “they will rise again” God’s grace will NEVER run out. His mercy is new EVERY morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). 

This past week God reminded me of this truth. I was tuning into the live concert for Tenth Avenue North’s farewell show. Before starting one of the songs Mike Donehey made a comment about what they wanted their listeners to get from their music. He said something along the lines of this: “If you get anything from our music, I hope it’s this: we’re all messed up and we all need grace.” This message is sewn into so many of their songs, but one of my favorites (and most clear) is this: 

“Hallelujah  we are free to struggle, we’re not struggling to be free”

Wow. Freedom in Christ isn’t about things being easy. It’s not about things being picture perfect. Freedom in Christ means that we don’t need to shame ourselves when we struggle. It means we don’t need to fake it til we make it around our brothers and sisters in Christ. 

Let’s all share our stories boldly (whether or not there was as 180 turn) and let His grace be the focus. Let’s be bold to talk about how much we STILL need His grace everyday. Let’s be bold to ask our brothers or sisters for prayer because we’re struggling. Let’s admit that we often feel like we’re falling, and then let’s remember that “though the righteous person falls, they rise again.” 

At our last debrief, we did an exercise where we took two notecards. On one notecard we wrote lies that we sometimes believe. On the other notecard, we wrote the truth that God speaks over those lies. Then we shared with the group what God revealed to us. 

I was nervous to share mine because it felt like my lies came from a struggle I was currently facing, while every one who had shared thus far dealt with lies from a past struggle. I decided to be vulnerable and share despite my fear. Everyone on my squad was so encouraging and my squad leader spoke a truth into my life that I was struggling to accept: that I have freedom of mind.

Even then, I didn’t believe it to be true. You see, I struggle with thoughts that I know are not from the Lord. If I struggle with them, then how can I be free? I don’t have control over the thoughts that enter my mind, therefore I can’t possibly have freedom of mind. 

Then it dawned on me that I was thinking about it the wrong way. I have freedom of mind because I’m free to struggle. I’m not a horrible person because I struggle with these thoughts. The struggle is not the sin. I am free because I live under grace and there is enough grace to cover each and every thought that enters my mind and then ever more grace after.

Freedom is NOT perfection. Freedom does NOT mean we will never struggle. Freedom does NOT mean things will be easy. 

Freedom means we can struggle because we have a Father who is patient and full of grace. Freedom means we can admit when we’re hurting, when we’re stumbling and when we feel a little lost. Freedom means that we have access to grace and we don’t have to strive for perfection, but rest in the knowledge that God is big enough to handle our struggles. He can handle our questions. He can handle our doubts. He can handle our falls. He will pick us back up and show us the right way. 

Be honest with yourself. Be honest with God. Be honest with those close to you. Then be amazed by how God’s grace never runs out. 

Blessings, 

Kaci