God Asked Me To Give Up Secular Music

While at my first debrief in Cusco, God asked me to give up secular music. It’s not the first time He’s done this either… The first time was right after I got accepted to the race. 

On the phone, when I got accepted, all the world race expectations were being given to me. One of those expectations is that if we are not already in a relationship, they ask us to stay single until the end of our race. The reason is that they don’t want us pursuing a relationship that is new and would distract us from the ministry we have been called to around the world. More importantly, they want us to focus on our relationship with the Lord. The three areas that AIM focuses on in their ministry are Intimacy, Community, and Mission.. and it all starts with Intimacy. 

Our relationship with Jesus is the most important thing. We need to have a personal relationship with the Lord to allow Him to shape the way we interact with our community as well as the way we reach out to the nations in missions, and being single provides an opportunity to grow with God in intimacy. 

So, after I got off the phone, I was pretty excited about going into a year of singleness. I had just gotten out of a relationship and knew that singleness would be good for me. As I said in a previous blog, for a long time I found my identity through relationships (if you missed it check it out here: https://kacilarick.theworldrace.org/post/a-girl-gets-baptized) I knew this was not healthy and was excited for the opportunity to grow closer to the Lord, seek healing, and become secure in my identity in Him. 

A few weeks later, the excitement had faded and I was once again yearning to be in a relationship. My head was okay with being single, but my heart was not. I was bothered by the fact that this desire was in my heart again and bothered that I wasn’t as excited about the opportunity to grow closer to God. When I was talking to Him about this, He asked me what I thought about the way the music I listen to is effecting my heart. Over the next couple of days, I realized that listening to country music (I really didn’t listen to anything else) made me desire to be in a relationship. 

So, God asked me to stop listening to it, and I did for a season while I was getting my heart content with being single. Between the time I got accepted to the race and Easter, I only listened to Christian music. I loved that season. I was worshipping God, I was focused on Him and I was no longer preoccupied by my singleness. I was giving that desire over to Him and learning to trust Him with His timing. There was one day that I listened to country music, and only a few songs in I was staring to feel a shift in my heart, and I knew I wanted to continue to listen to only Christian music. I enjoyed focusing my eyes on the Lord. On Easter, I stopped only because it was the end of lent. I felt that I was content in being single and I could again listen to secular music without it effecting my heart. 

Now, God has asked me to give it up again. Last month I started feeling my heart change again. I’ve wanted to be married and have my own family since I was little. The music I was listening to was making that desire stronger and I was starting to lose the contentment I had. I even started to get uncomfortable with my decision to go on the race. I was believing lies that this is something temporary that I am doing and I’m wasting a year of my life. 

WHAT A HUGE LIE. Wow, the enemy was definitely trying to mess with my head. Thankfully, I’ve been practicing listening to the Lord more, so I was able to hear Him when He was leading me to give up secular music again. Thank God that I know this year will not be wasted, and thank God that I can already see fruit of growth that this year will bring. When He asked me to give up secular music, I assumed it had everything to do with fighting this lie and again handing Him my desire to be in a relationship. 

What I didn’t know was that a few weeks later I would be entering into a difficult season in which it is so so important to fix my eyes on Jesus in. I still think the enemy is messing with my head. I have felt depressed for no reason. I got sick and just wanted to go home. After getting better, a week later I had the worst migraine that I’ve had in a long time and again I just wanted to go home. I’ve also been hit hard with homesickness. The enemy definitely does not want me here following God. 

I believe God knew this was coming when He asked me to give up secular music. I thought it was just to surrender my desires to Him, but it was actually to ensure that in my trials I would not lose sight of Him. When I’m feeling like this, it’s easy to not want to worship God, but I’ve gotten into the habit of listening to worship music at al times. I have seen how worshipping God when I don’t want to and when I’m a mess is such a beautiful thing. As tears stream down my face I am focused on how great God is. Instead of sitting in my sadness, I am crying out to God and asking Him to show me Truth. 

I believe that God is the same all the time, He never changes, and He is good in all seasons of my life. I believe that He is my God now in this valley the same way He was my God when I was in a great season filled with only joy. I believe that I will get through this season and I believe I will learn so much in this season of worshiping in the middle of this storm. Even though I don’t know what is causing the storm, I believe I will see a victory because God is in control. 

Thank you for reading and for praying for me as I continue this journey! 

Blessings, 

Kaci