Here We Go: Round 2

Comparison. We all do it and yet I think we all also know it’s best not to. 

Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of comparing with my emotions now and my emotions from 2019 before I left with the world race for the first time. Last year when I left, I wrote a blog and titled it “When I Want to Run and Hide.” This year, I’m just excited to be back on the field. 

I probably shouldn’t be surprised that this time around I’m a lot less anxious. Sure, I’ve overthought about packing and my last week at home consisted of lots of sleepless nights once again. Although, last year I couldn’t turn my brain off and I starting to question what the heck I was getting myself into. This year the nights were sleepless because I didn’t want to put my book down.. 

I’ve been trying to figure out why I’m less anxious this year. The obvious answers didn’t seem to be right. 

Sure I’ve done it before and I “know what to expect” 

But in reality it’s going to be much different this year. A new route (that I really don’t actually know), a new squad, covid regulations that are constantly changing. There’s still a lot of unknowns in the journey ahead. 

So, why am I so calm this year? 

Then I realized the answer to that question is TRUST. 

That’s why. 

God so faithfully reminded me of a conversation I had with him when I was still debating whether or not I would relaunch for 11 months. I felt pretty confident that God was leading me to the race again, yet I was filled with doubt and nerves. I asked God “If this is really where you are leading me, then why do I not have peace about it??” 

His answer was very clear “Peace does not come until you trust me.” 

I realized then that you can be on the exact path that God wants you to be on and not trust that His plan is better than yours. In that situation you would have no peace. You would be pushing against God’s plans. 

But, if you’re following Him and trusting that His plan is always best, THAT’S when the peace comes. 

I used to think that the phrase “peace that surpasses understanding” meant that you wouldn’t know where the peace is coming from. You would feel it, but you wouldn’t understand it. Now I know that the peace aspect is not what is misunderstood. It’s perfectly clear that peace comes from our Father. It comes from trusting that our Father is good and in control. 

The misunderstanding comes from the chaos surrounding us. We don’t know why the world is the way it is. 

Our limited understanding might lead to stress or anxiety if that is what we focus on. But if we focus on Jesus and trusting Him, then we are filled with peace. 

I might not know exactly why God wants me to relaunch with the world race. I don’t know why I had to be pulled off the field early in the first place. I don’t know all that He has planned for me in this next year. 

What I do know is that this is where He wants me and it’s going to be better than anything I could plan for myself. 

I am not at peace going into this race because I know what to expect this year. I am at peace because I am choosing to trust God’s plan for my life.